It's been a little over a year since I took a leave of absence from John Deere. At the time I decided to take that leave I was frustrated in my job, ready to spend more time with Lily, and waiting for our second child to be born. A lot has happened changed since then but my desire to take a leave is not one of them.
It's funny how life changes. 5 years ago I was completely career focused and driven - thinking constantly about my work performance and the next step or move. I wondered what other people thought about my work, if they thought I was good at my job, and/or if I deserved that next promotion. Now my thoughts aren't that much different, just the subject of focus is. Now I wonder if I am doing the right things with my kids, challenging them enough with their development, feeding them the right foods, maintaining a good balance of self play and interacting with them. Of course I wonder what other moms think of me in this role as well. Do they think I'm a good mom, do they think my kids are well behaved, do they think I spend enough time with my kids, do they think I've let myself go. It seems strange that ones job title can be so different yet their standards and thoughts are so similar, isn't it?
I sometimes envy that mom that works full time, thinking she has the best of both worlds. But then I think about how little time she really gets to spend with her kids, how hard it must be to get everyone up and out the door in the morning - including herself, I think about how her mind must never quit thinking about her to-do lists for both work and home, and then I don't envy her at all. How hard it would be to live in both worlds. And I think while some of these moms choose to work, some don't.
So it's a weird place of discontentment and contentment at the same time, isn't it?
I've been finding my place in the world of stay at home mama's this past year. Really figuring out where I want, and need, to spend my time and focus and I've learned a few things.
1. I need to get out of the house. For my own sanity, the safety of my children, and the well being of my husband, I need to get out of the house.
2. I'm not like a lot of stay at home moms, but there are more stay at home moms like me than I thought.
3. Working part time is a good balance for me. I need something intellectual to be stirring in my mind most of the time.
4. There are tons of opportunities to be involved with things that also involve your kids if you look for them.
5. Not all stay at home moms like being on the go.
So lets revisit #3 - working part time is a good balance for me. I knew this before I decided to stay at home full time, however, working part time had to be worth it. Meaning I needed to make enough money that off set the cost of paying someone to watch our kids, and it needed to be something I really enjoyed. And while working for John Deere definitely off set those costs it was to a point that I wasn't really enjoying what I was doing. So God led me to leave the corporation role and since then has been paving the way for new opportunities.
God has been working on a dream for my mom and I to go into business together for quite some time, and it seems some doors are finally opening for us. While I'm not ready to reveal what this opportunity entails, it is very exciting for us both and has given me something intellectual to focus on, which has been so good for me. I love feeling challenged, using my business skills that I've learned in school and in practice, and thinking about ways in which we can use our creativity. I do not know when things will pan out - it may be 6 months, it may be a year but things are definitely in the works and I am so incredibly excited and blessed for the opportunity to stay home with my little ones, which is allowing me to look into these said opportunities. Let the adventure continue :)
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
preston is 1
A week ago my little man turned one year old.
I now am a mama to a 2 year old and a 1 year old, my gracious, seems crazy. But oh so good.
At his one year appointment he weighed in at 22 lbs 4 oz and was 31 inches long. That put him in the 75% for weight and 80% for length. He is wearing mostly 12M clothes and some 12-18M. For being on the bigger end of the charts he seems small to me. Although other than height he and Lily are about the same size, we actually get asked fairly often if they are twins :)
He's still taking two good naps a day! He eats pretty much any and everything and lots of it! He plays hard, is starting to fight back when his sissy attacks :) and really is just FULL of life and personality for such a little guy.
He isn't quite yet walking but has mastered pulling himself up on everything, walking along side anything, and walking while holding hands - which he likes to do often, he's two front teeth have just poked through but aren't quite totally visible, he took his first kayak ride with daddy in Eldora, he still loves being outside and has really been more interested in exploring - rocks, grass, mud, toys, whatever he can find, he has mastered the stairs, so much so that he thinks he can just go ahead and go down facing forward now - not a good idea, and he's started becoming more of a daddy's boy and actually preferring him or me when he's home.
Our little man truly is one of a kind. You will never see a bigger smile, a better 1 year old dancer, two bigger teeth, a little brother that loves his sissy, or someone that brings joy to each one he meets more than our little guy. One year ago my heart was full and thankful as he entered our lives, and as we celebrated one year of his precious life, my heart is even fuller and more thankful.
I now am a mama to a 2 year old and a 1 year old, my gracious, seems crazy. But oh so good.
At his one year appointment he weighed in at 22 lbs 4 oz and was 31 inches long. That put him in the 75% for weight and 80% for length. He is wearing mostly 12M clothes and some 12-18M. For being on the bigger end of the charts he seems small to me. Although other than height he and Lily are about the same size, we actually get asked fairly often if they are twins :)
He's still taking two good naps a day! He eats pretty much any and everything and lots of it! He plays hard, is starting to fight back when his sissy attacks :) and really is just FULL of life and personality for such a little guy.
He isn't quite yet walking but has mastered pulling himself up on everything, walking along side anything, and walking while holding hands - which he likes to do often, he's two front teeth have just poked through but aren't quite totally visible, he took his first kayak ride with daddy in Eldora, he still loves being outside and has really been more interested in exploring - rocks, grass, mud, toys, whatever he can find, he has mastered the stairs, so much so that he thinks he can just go ahead and go down facing forward now - not a good idea, and he's started becoming more of a daddy's boy and actually preferring him or me when he's home.
Our little man truly is one of a kind. You will never see a bigger smile, a better 1 year old dancer, two bigger teeth, a little brother that loves his sissy, or someone that brings joy to each one he meets more than our little guy. One year ago my heart was full and thankful as he entered our lives, and as we celebrated one year of his precious life, my heart is even fuller and more thankful.
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| the first moment with my new son |
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| 1 day old |
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| ready to head home |
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| excited about his bday cupcake! |
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| us with our boy 1 year later |
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
grateful
Do you ever feel an overwhelming sense of complete gratitude? I felt that so vividly this morning as I held my son in the quiet hours of the morning, after my yoga workout as he had just awoke. Then later on in the morning as I got down on the floor and just played with my kids. I didn't think about the dishes that were still in the sink from last night, the laundry on the table that needed to be folded, or the half emptied totes of fall/winter clothes that needed to be put away in place of their summer clothes - I just played. I listened to their giggles, I let them roll around on top of me and hit me all over with toy drumsticks, and I was present.
God is so very good. This life is so full of struggles, emptiness, and evil sin but in light of it all he gives us moments like I had today and I'm so grateful. Never have I ever done anything to deserve being called mommy by my two precious gifts but he gave them to me anyways.
And I am eternally grateful.
God is so very good. This life is so full of struggles, emptiness, and evil sin but in light of it all he gives us moments like I had today and I'm so grateful. Never have I ever done anything to deserve being called mommy by my two precious gifts but he gave them to me anyways.
And I am eternally grateful.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
a dr seuss birthday
This past Saturday we celebrated Preston's upcoming 1st birthday with a Dr Suess/Cat in the Hat themed birthday party with family and friends.
I had so much fun planning his party and love taking time on all the little details that may go unnoticed but to me, make it extra special. I know he won't remember this birthday or any of the things that were made for it but I will and it's a true celebration of his first year of life and survival :)
Here's the pictures and details......
The entry and welcome area:
The guests were asked, via a clever little poem, to sign his Dr Suess "Happy Birthday" book with a little message to him letting him know you were in attendance at her first birthday.
The Suessville sign is something I made by painting a wooden rod, hand drawing and cutting the arrow signs, and anchoring them in a red bucket with a foam arrangement square and some rocks.
And the "Welcome" sign is something I picked up at the Target dollar spot intended for a teacher's door.
Our mantle in the main living room area:
I picked up the aqua candles at Hobby Lobby to use in our room but they matched perfectly so I added them to the party decor.
The Dr Seuss sign is ones I printed on card stock on our home computer and then painted Dollar Store frames to make them more colorful.
The monthly pictures banner I made with scrapbook paper from Hobby Lobby and pictures I printed off via Shutterfly.
The "Preston" letters are from Hobby Lobby and also used in his room.
The sweets table:
This table was located right next to the main food table and got plenty of attention throughout the night.
The Dr Seuss fabric is something I picked up in Denver, CO while visiting my sister and worked perfectly as an overlay to this table.
Hy-Vee did the cake and I made the sugar cookies.
The main food table:
I had all the paper laterns, which I picked up at Hobby Lobby long ago and use some of them in Preston's room.
The red backdrop is a Dollar Tree table cloth taped to the print we usually have hung in our dining room.
The Dr Seuess details are from a printable I bought on Esty for $4! and printed on my home computer. The package included the food labels, which I was able to personaliz, the "Welcome to My Party" sign, water bottle labels, and cupcake toppers that I used on the fruit kabob sticks. It came with other things too but that was what I used from the package. Good deal!
We served Ham and Green Egg salad sandwiches, Yot in a Pot meatballs, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish goldfish, Cat in the Hat fruit kabobs (alternating strawberries and bananas to look like the red and white hat), Assorted Green and Other Things veggie cup with ranch dip, and Oodles of Noodles mac n' cheese! Yummy yummy!
I had one planned kids craft which involved making a popsicle stick cat nose and a cat in the hat red and white hat. Here's a picture of Lily with her completed craft - the "older" kiddos loved it!
Come cake time he didn't dig in like I thought he would. He nicely shared with Daddy and picked at it some but never really dove in. Somehow he managed to get plenty messy though :)
By present time he was pretty much ready for bed so we just did a few. He got lots and lots of gifts - trucks, trains, cars, all things boy! and we needed a few non pink items around here :)
It was such a wonderful evening spent with close friends and family that we feel blessed took the time to spend the evening with us celebrating our little man. What a year its been - he's the best!
I had so much fun planning his party and love taking time on all the little details that may go unnoticed but to me, make it extra special. I know he won't remember this birthday or any of the things that were made for it but I will and it's a true celebration of his first year of life and survival :)
Here's the pictures and details......
The entry and welcome area:
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| welcome table |
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| entry way |
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| the kids party favor |
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| welcome table |
The Suessville sign is something I made by painting a wooden rod, hand drawing and cutting the arrow signs, and anchoring them in a red bucket with a foam arrangement square and some rocks.
And the "Welcome" sign is something I picked up at the Target dollar spot intended for a teacher's door.
Our mantle in the main living room area:
I picked up the aqua candles at Hobby Lobby to use in our room but they matched perfectly so I added them to the party decor.
The Dr Seuss sign is ones I printed on card stock on our home computer and then painted Dollar Store frames to make them more colorful.
The monthly pictures banner I made with scrapbook paper from Hobby Lobby and pictures I printed off via Shutterfly.
The "Preston" letters are from Hobby Lobby and also used in his room.
The sweets table:
This table was located right next to the main food table and got plenty of attention throughout the night.
The Dr Seuss fabric is something I picked up in Denver, CO while visiting my sister and worked perfectly as an overlay to this table.
Hy-Vee did the cake and I made the sugar cookies.
The main food table:
I had all the paper laterns, which I picked up at Hobby Lobby long ago and use some of them in Preston's room.
The red backdrop is a Dollar Tree table cloth taped to the print we usually have hung in our dining room.
The Dr Seuess details are from a printable I bought on Esty for $4! and printed on my home computer. The package included the food labels, which I was able to personaliz, the "Welcome to My Party" sign, water bottle labels, and cupcake toppers that I used on the fruit kabob sticks. It came with other things too but that was what I used from the package. Good deal!
We served Ham and Green Egg salad sandwiches, Yot in a Pot meatballs, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish goldfish, Cat in the Hat fruit kabobs (alternating strawberries and bananas to look like the red and white hat), Assorted Green and Other Things veggie cup with ranch dip, and Oodles of Noodles mac n' cheese! Yummy yummy!
I had one planned kids craft which involved making a popsicle stick cat nose and a cat in the hat red and white hat. Here's a picture of Lily with her completed craft - the "older" kiddos loved it!
Come cake time he didn't dig in like I thought he would. He nicely shared with Daddy and picked at it some but never really dove in. Somehow he managed to get plenty messy though :)
By present time he was pretty much ready for bed so we just did a few. He got lots and lots of gifts - trucks, trains, cars, all things boy! and we needed a few non pink items around here :)
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| my grandma makes all the great grandkids a quilt for their 1st birthday - so cute! he loved the animals! |
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| we got him this chair from pottery barn and gave it to him earlier in the day so he could use it at his party |
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| pre party picture |
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| bad lighting but little man snuggling in |
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| i'd call it a success :) |
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