bittersweet

My mom recently let me borrow a book called “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist and let me just tell you, it was amazing. I had never read anything by Shauna and it definitely made me want to read more of her stuff. It claims to be a book about “thoughts on change, grace, and learning the hard way” – it was that and so much more. My mom already had half the book highlighted and I think I could have easily highlighted the rest of it. So many chapters of this book spoke to me directly. I feel like I have shared so many of the same experiences as this author and the way in which she was able to tie those experiences and in many cases mistakes, to a lesson, a “tip” from God, or a growing experience was so refreshing.

Here’s just a few paragraphs from the book that spoke to me so clearly.

“This is the thing: when you start to hit 28 or 30, everything starts to divide, and you can see very clearly two kinds of people: on one side, people who have used their twenties to learn and grown, to find God and themselves and their deep dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults.

And then there’s the other kind, who are hanging on to college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great because they won’t want to be lonely. They mean to find a church, they mean to develop honest, intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in kind of an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than they were when they graduated college.”

I’ve had a little anxiety about getting older. Now don’t roll your eyes thinking about how young I am, let me explain. Just a few weeks ago I realized I would be 27 by the time baby girl joins us and something about that just makes me seem old. There’s just something about realizing your reality of bill paying, corporate jobs, business travels, marriage, and having babies that makes you feel old. But then when I sit back and think about all the things I’ve done in my life, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, the jobs I’ve had, the places I’ve lived it’s really incredible. So when I read the line about using your twenties “to learn and grow, find God and yourself and your deep dreams” – I think I’ve done. But then when I read from the second paragraph “they mean to find a church, they mean to develop honest, intimate friendships, but don’t – I think I have to admit I’ve done that too. When I first got out of college and moved from place to place working for John Deere I never really found a great church or got too involved because I knew I’d be leaving, and I struggled to establish deep relationships for the same reason. And now that I’m married establishing new and maintaining old friendships just seems harder for some reason. I think part of that is because again, I know we won’t be in Springfield long so I don’t want to get too attached. Yet, at the same time, I know how important friendships are and the great things that can come from a genuine friendship with another. So while I feel I’ve done so many things well in my 20’s, I feel I’ve failed at times too. And yet I have a feeling this won’t be just in my 20’s but throughout all of life. You’re always going to do some things well, and some things not so well. I’ve learned that life is not about the mistakes you made, the past you can’t forget, the things you should have done or said but life is about making those mistakes and learning from them, taking risks, loving people genuinely, and surrounding yourself with those you love and that love you.

So those are my thoughts from this book. If you’re looking for a good easy read that will change the way you look at so many things, I’d highly recommend this one. Thanks for passing it my way momJ