Wednesday, May 9, 2012

1 year ago

I remember exactly where I was a year ago today. I was 9 days overdue, I got up about 5am – Jimmy called the hospital to verify that it was ok for us to come in that day, after we heard a “yes” we prayed, I showered, and out the door we went – leaving our family behind sleeping in our home – to start a LONG day of anxious anticipation of the arrival of our baby girl.
I remember the car ride there and the giddiness we both felt with a tone of underlying nerves as we thought about the uncertainties of the day. I wondered if I would be able to do it – was I really capable of delivering a baby? And I often think about what must have been going through Jimmy’s mind - as a man’s experience of pregnancy is totally second hand up until this point – how would he deal with seeing me in pain? And then the constant uncertainty of how we would be as parents – would we know what to do that first night when they leave the hospital room or send us home?
So many things of parenting are unknown and things you just learn as you go, no matter how many times someone tries to tell you something. However, this past year has been the most rewarding year of my life as Jimmy and I have navigated through parenthood.
I honestly cannot believe Lily May is a year old already. How can it be that our teeny tiny baby girl whose sweet soft breath, chubby little hands, slobbery kisses, and contagious laughter has taken up such a huge chunk of my heart that I never knew I had? Lily has helped me gain patience – something I was very short on before, helped me see the world in a whole new way, made me laugh and/or cry every single day this past year, and brought so much joy to our household.
The love you feel for your child is truly indescribable unless you are a parent yourself. I will never stop loving that little girl that entered this world slowly and painfully one year ago not today but tomorrow……
So more to come tomorrow – on her actual birthdayJ
the night before - ready to go!



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