a new chapter

Today is my last day of work for an unknown amount of time. I will be taking an open-ended leave of absence from John Deere and that comes with a mix of emotions. I really loved my part time set up. It was a perfect balance between work and time at home with my baby and working from home made it even better. However, a few months ago they decided that they needed the job to return to a full time position. I was quick to decline going back full time as we knew that just wasn't what was best for our family. And from there my search for another part time opportunity within John Deere began. Well I haven't found anything. Part time jobs are very hard to come by in the company - there aren't many of them and it seems they are done on a more case to case bases, like mine out of Springfield. So, that puts us where we are today - no job lined up, so a leave of absence it is.

While I am looking forward to some time off and a break from the extra stress and hassle, of having to worry about balancing our home, a nanny, and a job I definitely have mixed feeling about becoming a full time stay at home mom. I have worked for John Deere for 7 years and have had some wonderful opportunities while doing so. I have traveled to cities I would have otherwise never seen, lived in places I know I would have never moved to, met some wonderful people, and been challenged in so many ways. Before I met Jimmy my job was so much a part of who I was and I found a lot of contentment and pride in what I did. Priorities change and as your life grows different parts become more important than others and there's no doubt that Jimmy and Lily are so much more important to me than a job will ever be. However, it's still a part of me and what I do so adjusting to that change will be different.

I am looking forward to the extra days with just Lily before our little guy arrives as I know things will never be the same for her, or us. However, I wonder what we will do every day? Can I find things to do without always spending money? Will I get bored at home? Will Lily adjust well to the change of having just me to play with every day instead of a fun nanny 3 times a week? Will it bother me that I am no longer contributing financially to our family and will that change the way I view and spend our money? While I feel incredibly blessed that my husband has a job that will allow me to stay at home these are questions that run through my head.

I hope to get involved in more community and volunteer opportunities - do some things that I have not had the time to do because of my job. If you have any ideas, let me know! :) As well as just enjoy the time loving on my babies. I do plan to keep my eye open on John Deere jobs and who knows, maybe another part time opportunity will present itself? But for now I will be content in the beautiful family I have and the privilege of staying at home with them. Who knows what the next month, 6 months, or year look like for me and our family but I do know who holds that future and that's the beauty of believing and loving a wonderful God that is so much bigger than we are!