36 weeks - FULL term

Well today marks week 36. I am officially full term - yahoo! But honestly to think of being pregnant for another 4 weeks marks me slightly depressed.....hopefully that won't be the case and this little guy will decide to join our crazy family sooner!

I had a doctor's appointment this morning - the first one in which I was actually checked. As you may recall I've been physically measuring a few weeks ahead for quite some time now so I was anxious for this appointment to see if any real progress was being made down there :) however, I once again was given the responses "well I'd say a fingertip" Really?! You might as well tell me nothing since this is what I heard over and over again with Lily. However, I'm remaining optimistic knowing that that can all change in a very short time - right?! They plan to do an ultrasound next week to check his position - she is fairly confident he is head down but not 100% sure. That was also give us another gauge of his size and may further our discussion regarding being induced early due to size as well. So, I'm praying that he will 1. be head down 2. come early on his own 3. worst case, they induce me at week 39ish....

So that's the update on that.

On the flip side of this wonderful journey called pregnancy - the last 2 weeks for me have been a little bit of a rollercoaster. I have been overly emotional and borderline insanely nesting. I have tackled so many unneccessary rewarding tasks these last few weeks - from baseboard cleaning, closet cleaning and organization, baby boy clothes organized and re-organized, mopping  floors, powerwashing the highchair, thorough scrub down of all the baby toys and items - swing, bouncy seat, carseat, playmat, rattles, etc., organizing our newly completed playroom in the basement that used to be a storage space, a canvas project for lily's room, storage room reorg and cleaning, multiple dinners with friends, baking for freezing when baby comes, and seriously the list goes on.......

Then on top of that crying for all the sweet moments I find myself having with Lily each day as I try to soak in this precious time with just her, crying because I'm driving in Des Moines and Jimmy tells me to turn around for a better parking space, crying because all the neighborhood kids are going back to school and Lily will be going to kindergarten in 4 years (seriously!), crying in church as I see all the college students attending alone and hopefully that they will meet good friends and feel welcomed at our church, and again, this list keeps going. For this reason alone I think my hubby is more than ready for me to have this baby :)

Oh all the joys of the final stage of pregnancy, right?!

And in all honesty as my body is telling me it's time for this baby to come and for us to start a new adventure there are still several times throughout the day that I just find myself scared. Scared of the challenge that 2 children will bring - can I handle them both on my own? Will I ever be able to go somewhere alone again? How could I possibly love another as much as I love Lily? Am I prepared to endure child birth again? Will I be a good enough mom to 2 children? How will having a son being different than a daughter? Will I miss feeling his crazy kicks and movement in the middle of the night? How will Lily change with the addition of a sibling? Will it be harder to find a babysitter for 2 kids?! So many unknowns and untreaded water. But such is life - right?! God promises He will never give us more than we can handle so I know that He knows that I can handle this. Another child, a true miracle from God, and we are so ready to meet this sweet baby boy.

And here I am today at 36 weeks.....